The media is agog once again over the threat of anarchism to Western Civilization. Parents who have been dumped by their adult children are quoted extensively in the piece, and members are quoted out of context, singled out and portrayed as “followers” to a Canadian “pied piper.”
I would have been quite happy to be interviewed by the reporter – and still am, even if it’ll be worked into a half-witted hit piece.
These articles demonstrate the kind of terror that people feel when faced with highly threatening truths. Most of these parents have lived their lives completely unconscious of the importance of good parenting. They have no meaningful self-knowledge. They may be able to mouth platitudes about intimacy and close relationships, but they are ignorant about the fundamentals about relating to others.
The idea that you should only remain in relationships that are pleasurable threatens not only every lame family and mediocre relationship in the world, but the entire structure of Western Civilization.
If you squares feel afraid now – let me tell you – you are not nearly scared enough. You should be shaking. Anarchism threatens the structure of your family, all of your relationships, your job, your livelihood and most likely your entire fucking framework for interpreting reality.
Rational philosophy is on the march. It will fuck up all of your shit and leave you without any teeth. If you thought Civil Rights was bad, screw on your panties a little tighter. If you are still angry about feminists, then you might want to climb into your basement and never get out. The kids are not going to eat any more of your schmaltz-flavored bullshit.
We are like space aliens here to rob you of your future. I am sorry that it has to be this way. The plans that you laid out for this planet sucked. We decided to intervene, to replace it with something with a little more promise.
There is nothing that you can do to forestall the inevitable destruction of your primitive culture. This is the equivalent of Christopher Columbus and his pals showing up on your sad little sand bar with big guns and sharp swords. You are doomed. Make peace with your pathetic gods before they are cast into the oblivion of history.
The more that you fight against this force of nature, the more firmly you try to clamp down, the faster your defeat will approach. Withdraw quietly into your stinking cave, and preserve what shreds of dignity that you still possess.
If you are not lying in bed at night worrying about this already, you damn well should be. History is coming to flatten you like a steamroller the size of Madison Square Garden. If you think that you can get away with treating your children as if they are animals, you are wrong.
Your kids will develop super brains, curse your name, stop returning your phone calls and dump you.
You have nothing to offer in a relationship to a young person. You are old, creepy, stupid, boring and inscrutable. You have the emotional range of a pig with diabetes and other assorted ailments. Your phone calls are banal. You have no taste. You never like who we’re dating. You believe that you have right granted by the universe to continue blathering to us about how to run your lives.
You are not the source of some special, mystical wisdom. You are just some schlub who managed to make a baby. This does not give you a right to the fruits of your loins until the end of your benighted and pointless days.
Some parents believe that having a child gave them a right to a punching bag or sex-slave. You guys have no chance at all. We are here to put an end to the Stockholm Syndrome that has kept so many of your victims silent and afraid. You ogres should be utterly terrified. Your ilk has been allowed to get away with heinous crimes against the most helpless victims for thousands of years. Your reign is over. Go fuck yourselves.
There will be no place for you to hide in the world that we are forging. Do you understand? We do not heed your mewling excuses. We do not care that you had it rougher than we did. You will not be able to share in the joys of the future. You made your choice with the one life that you were given – now deal with the consequences.
The pious moral lies that keep your sad and flimsy civilization together have been exposed. They have as much collective weight as a duck fart. If your dreams aren’t filled with Lovecraft monsters yet, they should be.
Do you remember the aristocracy? It really sucked to be an aristocrat in the 18th century in France.
Guess what? This is one of those bad times to be alive for a certain class of people, just like it really sucked to be a slave-master in 1865.
You won’t even get the quick, merciful end of the guillotine. No. This is much, much worse – a movement that eschews violence entirely. It, in fact, opposes it in principle and in practice.
Such an insidiously quiet revolution poses far more of a threat to the stability of your bland life.
Your children will abandon you to a pathetic and lonely old age where you will decay with only the insufferable company of your fellow old-style humans to pass the time. The younger generation will live out a life full of far more pleasure than you could ever imagine.
Those are the breaks – it really sucks to be you. Ha ha! Scream while you still can. It won’t make a difference. Pray to your gaudy idols for deliverance. Beg them for mercy.
Your gods will not listen. They are imaginary companions who don’t even like you.
If you don’t need to carry a towel around with you during the day to mop up your nervous sweat, then you are missing something. You are in danger like a crippled cricket in a plexiglass enclosure with a half-dozen starving toads.
I suggest that you listen to your compatriots quoted in the newspapers. Pay attention to their cries of cowering, pained anguish.They know that their lives are over. They have been completely humiliated. They have no chance to lure their children back into their outrageously abusive, creepy and boring fold.
They are raising the alarm to alert you, the Average Family, that life as you know it is rapidly coming to an end.
International Anarchism showed up through the fucking intertubes one day and bit off their balls for no reason at all. One day, their kid starts talking to them about their feelings – and then the parents say “What the fuck?! Let him eat cake!” Then – SHAZAM – their child dumps them. For these primitive parents, it’s like they are heroin addicts and a poppy-destroying super virus just made the plant extinct.
Their only alternative aside from feeling sorry for themselves is to go to the media to warn as many parents as possible. Journalists, always eager to get in on a good hustle, are more than happy to spread the terror. And they damn well should. This is global warming to the ten billionth power. I am sure that you creaky bastards would prefer that the sea levels rise 50 feet so that we all all have to float around on rubber dinghies for the next 10,000 years than to have to deal with us.
We are like Godzilla with an electric hard-on coming to breathe gamma rays all over your little village until the dirt turns to glass.
It may take 10 years. It may take 25, 50, 100, 200, 500 or 1,000 years. It doesn’t matter. Now that it has begun in earnest, there is nothing you can do to stop it. You can talk all you like. You can scream if it makes you feel better. You can cry and tear off your clothing like Hulk Hogan for the television cameras. You can lie until you piss yourself from shame.You can pose for photographers looking sad. You can howl about dangerous internet cults.You can try to attack the children who dumped you. Excoriate them. Insult them. Call them crazy. Call them gay! Post their picture on the front page of every fucking newspaper. Send them harassing emails. Beg them to come back to you.
The truth cannot be evaded forever.
If your children do not like you, then they will abandon you.
If you thought that you could get away with screaming at them, beating them or raping them, then you are about to learn otherwise.
If you don’t like it, then too bad.
5 Comments
December 13, 2008 at 11:53 am
[...] You should be afraid [...]
December 13, 2008 at 11:57 am
[...] You should be afraid [...]
December 13, 2008 at 11:50 pm
“You have nothing to offer in a relationship to a young person. You are old, creepy, stupid, boring and inscrutable. You have the emotional range of a pig with diabetes and other assorted ailments. Your phone calls are banal. You have no taste.”
I had to laugh. Great piece!
December 14, 2008 at 1:11 am
Fantastic command of the language, sir. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
December 15, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I loved this, I’m plugging it.